Meeting Our Little Boy...

Without sounding amazingly morbid, I have to share a sentiment I have in regards to officially meeting my son yesterday...
I have to wonder what it must be like to lose a son when all I can think about is how much it meant to gain one. I cannot help but extol Our Mother for her amazing surrender to the cross of Christ. As we watched the ultrasound yesterday, I wished for a million more hours staring at his every movement. And, at the time, we did not know it was a boy. We found out hours later. And, every minute since the "big reveal" has been spent in thoughts of him – what he will look like, feel like, smell like, cry like, laugh like, and love like. I wished to see more of his little arms, his little toes, his little hands, and his little heart. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I wanted him to know how proud of him I am; yes, already.
It may have been the most pivotal moment of my life – seeing the creation that my beloved husband and I played a role in alongside Christ. And, I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Mary to walk through her Lent, her journey to Golgatha. I do not think that Lent or Easter will ever mean the same again. I have always wondered what this would be like. And, before I could ever plan for my own experience, God planned it for me. I had no idea how spiritually awakening this would be for me. I mean, I knew how emotional it could be, but it has brought my understanding of The Sacrifice to a much more profound place.

On the lighter side of things, I am officially obsessed with my child. :) I cannot wait to get to know him. Most people encourage the "surprise gender" delivery. For some reason, I think God knew that I am the kind of person who uniquely relates to knowing the gender prior to delivery. I have had a significantly increased attachment to the babe within my womb over the last 24 hours and I credit it to being able to identify with him. And, my ability to feel connected to him has become even deeper – of which I did not think possible.

I cannot help but close with the well-known scripture from Jeremiah 1:5. It has never seemed more appropriate than now...
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."

Praise God.