Recently we had a substitute priest in Erath – Father Stimmons I believe was his name. After communion, before the band played their meditational song, he encouraged the congregation to close our eyes and envision Mary kneeling before each one of us adoring the Jesus inside of us. What a humbling yet dignified moment for me. I saw her, kneeling there, with her arms lifted and her face strewn with tears, yearning to touch the heart of Jesus that rest inside of me. What a phenomenal moment! The idea that the Jesus inside of me is something to be adored, specifically, worth HER adoration, is something I've never experienced. Not only that, but I kept experiencing a sense of humility – wanting to put myself aside enough to let Him be big enough for her to experience. How beautiful of a thought this was for me. I felt so near not only to Him, but especially to her. I felt like I related to her passionate adoration – both of us bonded through our love for our Jesus. I think back to that image and think, 'Where two or three are gathered in His name...' I feel as if there's no better way to connect with her. In some ways, I am the "new womb" that carries the heart of Christ through the Eucharist. Her appreciation for my heart and for my Christ-contents were a sense of affirmation for me; her approval and blessing on my heart as a Christian woman.
Its funny that it has taken over two weeks for this experience to settle in and take meaning. I love how that works. A seed is planted and eventually it sprouts its way forward into something more meaningful than I ever imagined.
I looked back on this moment given to be my the priest when I was in the Chapel last night. In the Chapel, its easy to relate to Christ – you're staring at him. But her, well, she's a different story. I have come leaps and bounds over the last two years of my life in getting to know the Heart of Mary. This vision for me is a new way to explore her heart as The Woman, as The Mom, as The Adorer. I felt like she was there with me, in perfect sync, feeling what I was feeling, as I explored the Jesus inside of me...
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I'm so happy for you, Erin. Your article made me cry for two reasons: 1) For the same reasons you wrote. Knowing that Mary kneels to adore Christ in me overwhelms with a love that can come only from God. Yes, we are the new womb to carry Him...God made us that way. 2) My joy for you...because of the way you are responding to God's love...His grace. Oh, Erin, you are letting Him mold you into such an incredible woman of God. I truly believe that when we connect with Mary, our femininity blossoms...it opens quietly and beautifully and fragrantly. I'm so happy for you and for every other woman/girl that will hear your story.
I love ewe!
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