Reflection on Temperament

One of our faculty members sends out reflections for each week's Gospels. He links us to a site that provides some pretty insightful information on the upcoming Good News. Today's had me thinking....

The author writes: "We need to view God, always, as non-coercive, as an invitation. This has immense implications for everything to do with church and religion, from how we preach, to how we catechize, to how we do liturgy, to how we reach out to those who don’t share our beliefs, to how we approach divisive moral issues, to how loud we turn up the sound system in our churches. God’s voice is not a loud, coercive, overbearing, threatening voice, one that gets into your face whether you like it or not. Rather, God’s voice invites in, beckons, leaves you free, and is as non-threatening as the innocence and powerlessness of a baby—or a saint."

How profound!
Often, I get caught up in the management aspect of my classroom. It is impossible not to strive for organization, peace, control, etc. However, in doing so, I think I sometimes lose the God in me. The peaceful God. The quiet God. The one who is inviting. My voice does not beckon, or leave anyone feeling free.
I guess I wonder what the balance is between enforcing what must be upheld in my classroom and allowing them the space to understand my love for them, my care and concern I actually do have for them.

Just thoughts to take into consideration.
How gentle He is with us, how patient He is with us, how kind He is to us.... all of which I would hope my students would see in me.




For the reflection in full:
http://liturgy.slu.edu/4EasterC042510/reflections_rolheiser.html

Meeting Our Little Boy...

Without sounding amazingly morbid, I have to share a sentiment I have in regards to officially meeting my son yesterday...
I have to wonder what it must be like to lose a son when all I can think about is how much it meant to gain one. I cannot help but extol Our Mother for her amazing surrender to the cross of Christ. As we watched the ultrasound yesterday, I wished for a million more hours staring at his every movement. And, at the time, we did not know it was a boy. We found out hours later. And, every minute since the "big reveal" has been spent in thoughts of him – what he will look like, feel like, smell like, cry like, laugh like, and love like. I wished to see more of his little arms, his little toes, his little hands, and his little heart. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I wanted him to know how proud of him I am; yes, already.
It may have been the most pivotal moment of my life – seeing the creation that my beloved husband and I played a role in alongside Christ. And, I cannot imagine what it must have been like for Mary to walk through her Lent, her journey to Golgatha. I do not think that Lent or Easter will ever mean the same again. I have always wondered what this would be like. And, before I could ever plan for my own experience, God planned it for me. I had no idea how spiritually awakening this would be for me. I mean, I knew how emotional it could be, but it has brought my understanding of The Sacrifice to a much more profound place.

On the lighter side of things, I am officially obsessed with my child. :) I cannot wait to get to know him. Most people encourage the "surprise gender" delivery. For some reason, I think God knew that I am the kind of person who uniquely relates to knowing the gender prior to delivery. I have had a significantly increased attachment to the babe within my womb over the last 24 hours and I credit it to being able to identify with him. And, my ability to feel connected to him has become even deeper – of which I did not think possible.

I cannot help but close with the well-known scripture from Jeremiah 1:5. It has never seemed more appropriate than now...
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."

Praise God.

Loving Together

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I cannot help but think of all the new decisions Josh and I must make on a daily basis now that we are preparing to be parents. Decisions that may have come easily prior to our expecting don't seem as easy anymore. There feels more to lose. There feels more to risk. At the same time, the weight of these decisions brings a sense of aliveness that I have never felt before, that I have never lived through. It makes me acknowledge in a very present way all that our future may hold. The possibilities, the struggles, the joys, the history that we will write together. I guess it is the first time he and I feel as if we are faced with writing our own story. Everything has come so easily up until now. Falling in love just happened. Getting married was perfect. Our love for each other withstanding. I have no doubts that God has us in the palm of His hand. And, as our Gospel read at our wedding, He has our best interest and our best needs in mind. He knows what we need. I just pray that God continues to place HEAVILY on our hearts where He wants us, what Yes's he wants us to give, and what boundaries He wishes us to place. This man that I continue to look outwardly with, this man that loves me far greater than I could ever understand, is the man that I choose to walk into Heaven with. I beg that God continues to place on our hearts the ways in which He will have us go.